Self Importance and Bias
by NotAnotherWriter
Summary: Get it? Because...Because it's like Pride and Prejudice but...*ahem* Better summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** Hello, Internet! I am Not Another Writer, except, I am. Haha. Anyway, the idea of a Kurtbastian version of Pride and Prejudice has been eating away at me for ages now, especially since the introduction of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube, and I'm yet to find a fanfic that does the same (if there is one, then please, let me know so that I can credit them for coming up with the concept first! This is just me letting out my creativity, I don't mean to steal anybody's ideas.) It's in Kurt's point of view and written as if he was writing a daily blog.

Read it and review it if you want, I don't mind. Parallels may not all be as they seem.

Without further ado…

_**It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.**_

Or, in my case, a husband.

My name is Kurt Hummel. I am seventeen years old, and I live in Lima, Ohio with my dad, Burt, my step-mom Carole, my step-brother Finn and our adopted puppy, Sam. That last one was a joke. Sam is actually a friend of ours that lives with us while his parents are out of town.

I live in a fairly upmarket part of Lima, which if you've ever been, isn't saying much. My house is nothing spectacular, though; we live in a three-bedroom semi-detached house, so it could be worse. Then again, with the addition of Sam, it could be better in that we could all have our own rooms. I had no problems sharing a room with him, until I shared a room with him. He'd be up at 2am playing…Skyrod? I don't know, I don't pay attention when he and Finn talk about video games. I thought maybe I'd get some peace by suggesting Sam move into Finn's room, but that just means they _both_ stay up late playing video games. Which still means no sleep for me, because all I can hear is, "Dude, you totally cheated!" (FYI, I hate the term 'dude' with a burning, fiery passion.) or "Oh – oh – oh, get some!" which makes me question whether they really _are_ playing games… I know, I have a wild imagination. You try being the only out kid in my school! It's not easy.

There is one house on my street that Carole always stares at wistfully when we pass it to go to the store. It's this huge estate-type house, one that nobody who lives in Lima could ever afford anyway. Anybody with enough money to buy it would not choose to live in Lima, either. That still doesn't stop Carole from the usual routine sigh and, "One day, Kurt."

You're probably thinking this is irrelevant, it isn't. I overheard this conversation today (I italicised my dad's utterances so you can tell who's saying what):

"Someone finally bought that big ol' house on the corner there, did you know?"

"_No, I didn't."_

"Oh yes, Mrs Abrams told me this morning."

_My dad kept eating his lunch._

"Well, don't you want to know who our new neighbours are?"

"_Go on, then."_

"Well, apparently it's been bought by a family of four who loved the house immediately and are so fancy, they'll be moved in with _servants_ by the end of the week!"

"_What's the family name?"_

"Anderberry."

"_Fancy. Any kids?"_

"A daughter and a son. Both single, and rumour has it the son is gay!"

"_What does that have to do with anything?"_

"Oh, Burt! He could be quite the match for our Kurt."

"_So just because there's another gay kid, you think that's good enough for my son?"_

"Of course not! But he _might_. And we won't find out if he's good enough unless you go and see them!"

"_What's it to do with me? Boy can make his own decisions. You wanna go there, go. Better yet, send all the boys. Don't want this fancy new man muscling in on my wife."_

"Burt!" Giggling. "After having a son like Finn and adopting you, Kurt and Sam into our lives, I'm nothing extraordinary anymore."

"_But in most cases, women don't have much beauty to preserve anyway."_

"Stop buttering me up, you! Anyway, you have to go and see the Anderberrys at some point.

"_It's not necessary for me to go, Carole."_

"Nonsense! What about the boys? I know that the Puckermans and the Abrams are planning on visiting them soon, and they like to keep to themselves! Besides, you're in Congress, they'll warm up to you more."

"_You're exaggerating, dear. I'm sure the Anderberrys would love to meet you, and I'll be sure to drop them a line welcoming them to the neighbourhood. If anything, I might drop in a word on Finn's behalf for that girl."_

"But what about Kurt? He is your biological son, how would he feel knowing that you're putting Finn first? And even then, what about Sam? We do have a duty of care for him, too."

"_I'm not putting Finn before anyone, you said yourself you wanted to introduce Kurt to the boy! I'm just keeping both options open. And Sam doesn't quite seem as…Open as Finn is. He'd be too afraid of rejection to make any kind of move!"_

"How can you say that without either of them meeting her? You didn't bring either of them up."

"_Yes, and you didn't raise Sam or Kurt. Stop your worrying, Carole. They're all big boys, they can find love themselves."_

So that was…Informative. I might go and visit this family anyway. Just to see what the girl's like. I know Sam and Finn better than they know themselves, I can make a good enough judgement on which one she's best for. And if I happen to stumble upon that guy, then who knows? ;)

- Kurt


	2. Chapter 2

I told Carole I wanted to go and visit these Anderberrys, but she went off in a huff about how we can't yet because my dad won't allow us to. I was going to say that actually, he said Finn, Sam and I should go alone, but then I remembered I wasn't supposed to hear that conversation so I kept it zipped.

It was all okay, though. Dad said he'd go and see them anyway, but don't tell Carole because she'll only obsess over getting one of us married already or something. Soon, he couldn't hold it in, though. Sam was helping her cook dinner today, and Dad quipped, "I'm sure Rachel Anderberry appreciates a man that can cook, Sam."

If looks could kill, my dad would be six feet under by now.

I did remind her that Sam, Finn and I were having a party soon, and that Mrs Abrams was going to introduce us to them anyway, but she kept saying something about Mrs Abrams having a son of her own and something about competition, but everyone knows Artie's been in love with Tina Cohen-Chang for forever, there's no competition there.

But Carole's always been one to have a temper, and when she's in a bad mood, she's in a _really_ bad mood. She told Finn off for _coughing_. He can't help that!

Anyway, so this party. It's in two weeks' time, which means we have just about enough time to say, "Hey new neighbors, come meet the rest of the neighborhood!" and have them turn up out of politeness.

We tried to bring up the Anderberrys again, to Carole's dismay until Dad couldn't hold in his laughter any more. He told her he'd spoken to the family already and added, "Now Finn, you can cough to your heart's content."

The rest of this evening has been nothing but Finn and Sam jokingly arguing about who Rachel would prefer ("I'm younger!" "I'm taller!" "I'm hotter!" – I make no judgement on that last statement.) and Carole actually arguing with herself about how soon they'll reply to the invitation. I'd better pick out the wedding corsages.

- Kurt


	3. Chapter 3

Carole, Finn and Sam constantly ask my dad about Rachel Anderberry, or try to get information out another way but my dad's smarter than that. Carole relies on neighborhood gossip and tells that to the other two. The Puckermans seemed impressed enough, though. They told the Anderberrys about our party and apparently they're coming – with guests of their own! Or as Carole sees them, more prospects for romantic partners for us. "I just want my boys happy," she constantly croons.

Mr Anderberry even came to visit Dad at the auto shop, which was nice of him. I guess he wanted to know the rules of this party. Understandable. Carole just missed him, but she saw him drive off in a black Lamborghini. Cue her wanting one of us to get with one of them immediately _even more_. Dad did invite them to dinner, but they had to go to Westerville to get these friends of theirs.

(I meant to publish all of that ^ before now, but I didn't, so now just imagine there's been a huge time lapse and so the party was yesterday.)

Rachel Anderberry came knocking at 7pm sharp, alongside her brother, Blaine, and a bunch of other people. Cue Finn and Sam drooling over all the girls. They got a dirty look when they looked at one of the girls, turns out she's dating one of the guys they brought over.

Rachel seems nice enough. She took to Finn immediately, which Sam didn't mind too much, surprisingly. Then again, there were about four other available girls, so…Maybe not so surprising. All of the girls were sweet, and so were _most_ of the guys.

Except one. His name? Sebastian Smythe. I can hear him saying it in his smug little voice even now. He had all the McKinley girls fawning over him, and he lapped up all those compliments before announcing, when Sugar Motta made her move, that he's gay. So naturally, everyone told me to go and talk to him, but I really don't want to catch anything from being near him.

He's just so…_Proud_. I know everyone should be confident with who they are, I preach that daily. But there's a fine line between being comfortable and being overconfident.

Rachel made fast friends with everybody, naturally. She danced with everyone (which is a pity for Finn because he really isn't a good dancer, but hopefully she found it charming?)

Once again, my batlike sense of hearing helped me. Normal writing is Rachel, italics is Sebastian.

"Come on, Seb, dance with somebody! You can't turn up to a party and just sit there all night."

"_I don't dance, not with strangers."_

"How can you make friends if you won't interact with people? Come on, there's some great-looking guys here."

"_And I bet they're all straight. You're lucky you're a girl, they're all after you."_

"Well, sure, Finn's been great to me, but his brother is sitting right there! Go say hi, maybe he's gay!"

"_His brother?" He looked at Sam and smirked before Rachel guided his face to look at me. "Oh, him. There's worse guys here, but there's also better Just go dance with your little Finn."_

Then Rachel huffed off to dance with Finn. The McKinley girls asked what they were talking about, which I gladly told them. That'll get their "You should get with Sebastian!"s off my back.

Apart from that, the whole night went well. Sam was constantly surrounded by girls, so he was happy. Carole had been chaperoning because my dad had been working late. He heard _all_ about it. How Finn and Rachel looked so happy, how Sam was getting so much attention. At least she hated Sebastian, too. All clouds have a silver lining.

- Kurt


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **I'm sorry about not updating sooner! Exams and stuff can get tedious.

Guess who's a smitten kitten? No, not me. Finn. He won't stop going on about how pretty and sweet and funny and good-smelling (apparently it's a mix of strawberries and mango but it smells really good.) He can't believe she wanted to dance with him. To be honest, neither can I – his dancing needs to be seen to be believed, and that is not in the good way! I suppose Finn isn't that bad-looking though, I can see why Rachel would prefer him. And plus, Finn has dated worse. That guy does not see fault in girls. He just sees their boobs.

Well, I'm sure she's like her friends. They all just need a little…Getting used to. I guess having private schoolers mix with public schoolers isn't always the best social situation. According to Finn, Blaine's 'not bad'. But I still reserve judgement until I meet him. He seemed to want to stay with his own friends. Hm. I don't care. I don't have time for those that don't have time for me.

Then again, most of the guys were like that. The girls were too busy drooling over Sam.

Apparently that Blaine was pretty pissed about moving, though. They used to live in some huge mansion in Westerville that he was supposed to inherit but now instead he's getting the slightly smaller estate in Lima.

I'll tell you one thing, though. I kind of expected that Sebastian guy to be Blaine's friend, but nope. Turns out he and Rachel have been buds for years! Rachel finds Sebastian funny and Sebastian…Well, I can only assume that it's because they've known each other so long. But it's clear that Rachel's the sidekick in their little friendship.

Rachel, apparently, won't stop talking about how great everyone at the party was, and what a great time she had, and how handsome and charming a certain young Mr Hudson is. Sebastian, though, is reported to have seen 'nothing of interest' and so the whole evening, to him, was a waste of time. Blaine seems to have approved of Finn too, though. So that's something.

(Oh, and to those wondering about my sources – a true gossiper never tells ;))

- Kurt


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Again, sorry for the wait!

The Puckermans have been family friends of my dad and I for quite some time. Mrs Puckerman would cook and clean for us both while Mr Puckerman took me in and helped their son and I with homework and stuff. But then something happened and Mr Puckerman left. Noah (I'm the only guy at school that gets away with calling him that) and I always presumed my dad and his mom would end up together but then Dad met Carole and you can guess the rest.

So Noah and I are pretty close, we visit each other all the time. He was round our house today when Carole suddenly piped up, "So Noah," (adults get away with it too), "you and Rachel hit it off at that party." Sigh, that woman lives off of making her son more superior. Don't get me wrong, I love her, but she has her flaws.

"Well, yeah, but she was way more interested in Finn," Noah shrugged.

"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed." I know, I wanted to just scream "What are you doing?" at her.

"Yeah, she even told Quinn, and Quinn told me. Not that it wasn't obvious." Ah, well, who knows. Maybe Noah and Quinn will end up together! "At least it was Finn getting with Rachel and not you and that dick – Smythe, was it?" Ah, Noah. Such a poetic way with words.

Carole then said something about how she didn't like Sebastian and he took the bad-boy image too far, and then Noah dropped the biggest bombshell. "Didn't you talk to him?"

You should have seen Carole's face.

I did remind him that I only asked him if he was enjoying himself, to which he gave his usual arrogant look of disgust and told me he'd much rather gauge his eyes out with a fork. That feeling, around him, is mutual.

But, Blaine likes him. I still have barely said two words to the guy. Besides, if Finn and Rachel really are on, doesn't that make me and Blaine a little weird?

Carole told me not to hang around with Sebastian too much. I told her not to worry.

"Can't blame a rich dude for being cocky," Noah had said. I don't blame him for being proud of himself, I just don't like his attitude towards me.

Well, I am going to go and research cat-friendly fabrics. If I'm going to end up alone, I still want to look fabulous as always.

- Kurt


End file.
